Friends Lost and Found
by critterlady
Summary: A few months in Tamara's life as she lives with the Avengers. Covers college life. All Avengers included, ratings for mild language and character suffering. Reviews appreciated


Tamara had been kept busy in her college classes and for that, everyone was grateful. To be honest, she'd felt like she was going crazy with nothing to do so it had been decided that when classes started again in January, Tamara would start college. She had worried about how that would work until Tony explained that they had succeeded in getting her emancipated. Pepper had simply claimed she had been hired as a live-in housekeeper, someone to look after her place when Pepper was out of town. Of course, Pepper's reputation and the attorney who represented Tamara had a lot to do with that. So even though she wouldn't be 18 until April, Tamara no longer had to live in fear of being sent back to foster care.

As Tamara spent time in her classes, she began to make friends. When she found out that some of these people only wanted to know her because they found out she lived at Stark Tower, she felt hurt and betrayed. So, she asked Pepper if they could set her up an apartment, someplace she could take her friends. When she explained why, Pepper sympathized, and helped her set up an apartment in a decent section of town. Of course, the team snuck in and set up security and Pepper made sure that all expenses were taken care of. Tamara had been adamant that it not seem like she had help so everything had to be something she could afford. Tamara visited several local thrift stores to furnish the apartment and supply enough stuff to make it look lived in.

What Tamara didn't know was that Tony had decided to help disadvantaged families so had bought up several run-down buildings and upgraded them, then the buildings were opened for residency. Tamara ended up in one of these buildings, and was surprised to find it consisted of mostly single parents or former runaways. The one thing everyone had in common was that they were trying to improve their lives.

Once Tamara pretended she was no longer living at the tower, she began to relax and found she did have a few people she could consider calling friends. There were Brian and Amanda, a cute couple who were in her theater classes and Lucas, who was in her gym classes. Then there were the geeks, the self-proclaimed computer nerds, Toby and Ken, a pair of brothers who made computer games in their spare time and tried to avoid getting caught hacking websites just for the fun of it. It was a small group and even though they came from different backgrounds, they were a close knit group. Then Sasha joined the group, she was a vet tech that Tamara found wandering around one day. She joined them for lunch and soon her and Toby were a couple.

As a way to expand everyone's knowledge, the group began to plan days when each person would decide an activity for the group. Sasha enjoyed having help at the shelters where she volunteered while Brian and Amanda planned days just watching people, then everyone tried to figure that person out. Sometimes they would get brave enough for someone to approach the person, just to find out more about them. They frequently did this at the college, although some days, they went to Central Park to watch people. As they did this more often, everyone in the group began to relax and soon other misfits were joining them.

By the time the weather started turning warmer, the group had grown in size so that on any given day, anywhere from a dozen to three dozen occupied their little corner of the commons at the college. People came and went throughout the day, taking time between classes to share with friends and to help each other out. One day in mid-march, Lucas came to the group, excited and clutching a piece of paper.

"Hey guys, look at this, a paintball league is starting up, anyone wanna join me, we need at least 12 people to make a team. Matches are every Saturday beginning March 22nd, you have to have a minimum of 8 people present for a match or your team forfeits. They'll provide gear or you can provide it yourself. Standings are determined by the number of kills and captures of each team with a final tournament to be held in June."

Tamara and Sasha both were interested and soon they had more than 12 people ready to join the activity. It was decided that the team would meet at a paint ball center over in the Bronx to determine the rankings within their team. They decided that each person would have a set amount of time to hit designated targets and the order they would be ranked on the team would be based upon those shots. No one was surprised when Lucas hit every target he aimed for, however they were surprised that Tamara and Sasha both did so well with their shots. Tamara didn't want anyone commenting on her skill so she had purposely missed a few easy shots, just a little. Sasha explained her skill by the fact that she was the only girl with four older brothers and a dad, all of whom hunted. Each team also had to have at least one person with more than basic first aid knowledge, since Tamara was studying para-medicine, it was decided to let people think that was why she was on the team. Once everyone who was interested had a chance to try their aim, and ranking for the team was decided, everyone went out to enjoy a day at Central Park.

When Tamara returned to classes on Monday, she found out that several of the higher scoring players had already discussed buying their own gear. They knew they would have to provide the paint balls and the team had to choose a color. Everyone laughed when Tamara suggested neon purple but she pointed out it was not likely to be chosen by another team so they wouldn't have to worry about buying multiple colors. Tamara had already mentioned her new hobby to Clint and Tasha and gotten pointers for their team. When Clint came by at lunch, she introduced him to her friends, simply stating he had been in the military. This got everyone discussing how to ambush other teams and choosing vantage points for a sniper. Everyone was in agreement to have a sniper standing guard over their flag for matches.

It was only one week until the first match when their team began to discuss whether or not to buy their own equipment. Several of them had visited paint ball supply stores and found the cost of equipment to be a huge problem. Tamara wanted to help the team so she had asked around and found out that teams could have sponsors. Tamara got a local animal rescue to be their sponsor and the team ended up being sent to pick out equipment. Everyone on the team thought the rescue was footing the bill for the equipment but Tamara knew the truth, Pepper thought it was good for her to be hanging out with people her own age so Stark Industries was bankrolling the team, behind the scenes of course.

The team did fairly well in the first couple weeks, they rotated out members each week but keeping Lucas, Tamara and Sasha. A few people found out they didn't enjoy it so dropped out but they had more than enough people to keep the full dozen in every match. By May, the team was beginning to work well together and devise strategies for the other teams. Tamara missed a couple matches right after her birthday in April, everyone knew in advance so they were able to plan accordingly. By June, their team ranked in the top half of the teams and qualified for the tournament that would start in the middle of the month.

During this time, Tamara had spent a lot of time with Lucas and she really liked him. But she had led such a screwed up life she no longer could tell between love and infatuation. On the night of the charity event for Stark Industries, she tried to talk to Pepper and Tasha but didn't know how to ask without looking silly so she ended up blurting it out to Tasha. She'd never even had a chance to dance with a guy, much less kiss one. Lucas might not be the best looking guy in their little group but he was special. He made her feel safe and he tried to help everyone in the group improve. When she found out that Lucas's grandfather had been a preacher before he died, it kinda made sense to her why he did things the way he did. He honestly believed in what his grandfather had taught him, about helping those who needed help, by giving a hand up, not a hand out. He wasn't perfect but he tried to improve himself and others every day so it was no surprise to her that he was studying law enforcement.

Once Tamara finished her classes and started working for SHIELD, she saw less of the group but still made it to paint ball matches. As classes finished up for the semester, she was sad to realize that only a few of them would still be around. Many had taken summer jobs and Lucas had applied to the police department and been accepted. She worried about him every day and wished she had the courage to tell him how she felt.

By the time it was down to the semi-finals matches for the paint ball tournament, everyone was planning for either their next semester of classes or job hunting. Everyone at the tower had finally accepted that Tamara was not going to leave SHIELD, no matter how many times they asked. Occasionally, when Tasha and Clint had missions, Tamara got herself added to the support team as a medic but she stayed out of the field. She had just returned from Europe with them, and was looking forward to a night out with her friends. She had gone shopping while in Europe and found a beautiful dress to wear to the concert they were all attending.

Tamara was in her room trying to decide what jewelry to wear with her bracelet for the concert. Since she had found out about the bracelet, she never took it off. When her friends had asked about it, she simply told them it was a family heirloom and even if it wasn't very fancy, it meant a lot to have it left to her. Pepper had come in to help her with makeup and styling her hair, she was nervous because she planned to tell Lucas how she felt that night and she kept messing up her makeup. When Tamara was ready to leave, she ventured out to say her goodbyes to the others. She had planned to drive her Jeep to the concert but was secretly glad when Tony informed her that Happy would be taking her, this way she didn't have to worry about parking and the limo had room to pick up Sasha along with Toby and Ken.

Tamara had only been gone for a few minutes, not even long enough to get to Sasha's apartment when her cell phone rang. When she saw it was Toby, she assumed he was calling to make sure she was on her way.

"Hey Toby, we'll be there in a few, you and Ken better be ready."

"Tamara, are you driving?"

"No, why? My cousin sprung for a limo and a friend of hers is driving, we are gonna have so much fun."

"Just listen, my mom got called in early at the hospital, Lucas was brought in, he's in bad shape, I don't know anything else she just knew he was a friend of ours. We're on our way over to get his mom and sister now, I thought you'd like to know, I'm sorry."

Tamara let the phone drop from her fingers, how could this be happening? She was gonna tell him how she felt tonight, she had everything planned. She never even heard Happy call her name or noticed when he stopped the car. She heard him talking to someone and then they were gone and she felt as if her world was falling apart. She was only slightly aware that they had returned to the tower, or that Pepper and Tasha were there to take her back upstairs.

Pepper guided her to the couch and Bruce handed her a cup of tea. She sat there, not really paying attention to anyone, silently crying. She wasn't even aware that Tony was on the phone or that Toi had curled up in her lap. Then Tony knelt down in front of her and took her hands in his, she was shaking but she looked up at him anyways. Deep down she thought that Tony had the means to fix anything, him or Bruce that is. When she saw his face though, she couldn't hold back her tears, she knew by the look in his eyes that it wasn't good news.

"I'm sorry Tam, I pulled some strings and spoke to a doctor I know. There was nothing anyone could do, his body is on life support but he's gone. His body is so damaged they don't even want to let him mom see him. Did you know he was an organ donor?"

"No, but it doesn't surprise me. That's why they have him on life support, right? I want to know what happened to him, I need to know why."

"I'll see what I can find out, why don't you go on to bed, it'll be easier in the morning."

"Please, I don't want to be alone, I want to stay in here."

Tamara looked so vulnerable, she was trying not to cry but she was failing miserably. Bruce sat down beside her on the couch and pulled her close. Tamara curled up beside him and cried, finally drifting off to sleep, knowing she was safe, that both Bruce and the 'Other Guy' would protect her. While she slept, Pepper checked on Lucas's family and found out he had been the sole support for his mother and sister. Tony was able to find out what happened to Lucas and what he found didn't surprise Clint, he'd met the young man and found he was someone who truly believed in sacrifice. Lucas had been hit by a car that had gone out of control into a playground. He had put himself between it and a couple kids, both kids were injured but they would live.

When Tony found out the circumstances that led to Lucas's death, he decided that his family shouldn't have to suffer for it. Even though it was still early in the evening, he decided to send someone to meet with Lucas's mother to offer her whatever help she needed. Pepper volunteered to go, saying that since people believed she was Tamara's cousin, it would not be considered unusual for her to visit the family.

When Pepper returned, she had a sealed envelope for Tamara, which she placed beside her cup of tea on the table. She sat and spoke quietly with Tony, telling him what she'd found out about Lucas's family. His father had run off after Lucas was born and then later his mom had been engaged to a good man but just before Lucas's sister was born, he disappeared. Lucas's sister, Julie had been born deaf and with very severe diabetes. Her body never did make insulin and so from birth, her mom had been forced to handle that for her, checking her sugar and giving her the shots necessary to keep her alive. Julie was only 6 and had been home-schooled because of her health problems, this meant her mother never had a chance to work after Julie was born. Pepper told Tony she wanted to find Maria, Lucas's mother, a job where she could keep Julie with her all day. She told him about their apartment and she quietly made plans for Maria and Julie to be moved to a better apartment in one of the buildings now owned by a subsidiary of Stark.

Tamara started crying softly while she slept and each time, one of the team, no her family, was there to reassure her. Finally Tony and Pepper went off to bed, Bruce had already gone himself and Tasha and Clint had taken his place on the couch with Tamara, quietly watching movies. Tamara never noticed the change but when she awoke in the morning, she found Steve sitting and sketching beside her. She found the letter when she woke and gently picked it up, she recognized Lucas's handwriting. She debated not opening it but she had to know what was so important he had to write her a letter. _Tamara, I hate to saying these things to you but I know now that I'll have to miss our date. I know you'll understand when I say that my grandfather is waiting for me. I wish we could have more time together but I know now that it was only a dream. I have to admit, I'm scared, I don't know what will happen today but Poppie says I will know when the time is right what action I must take. I can only say "I'm sorry" and I ask that you please don't share this with my mom or sister. I know my death will cause you a lot of pain, but be happy that it means a better life for someone else, my death is not without meaning. I know what is being asked of me today and this is something I have to do, please, don't cry too long for me. My only regret is I never got to say I love you. Lucas_

Tamara held the letter tight and began to cry again, why did he have to die when she was just getting the nerve to say she loved him. Why couldn't they have had more time. She felt Steve wrap his arms around her and she buried her head in his shoulder and continued to cry. He didn't say anything but she knew he understood. He too had lost the person he loved, had been forced to carry on with an empty place in his heart. When she had herself under control again, he handed her a fresh glass of tea, then gave her some space. When she left the room, he quietly picked up the letter she had dropped and read it.

Steve stared at the letter in his hands, he knew the pain she must be feeling. Even though it had been over a year since he had awoken, it still hurt to think about Peggy and the life they could have had, if things had been different. He had heard Tony talking about Lucas the night before and not understanding the phrase "organ donor" had had asked Bruce about it. When Bruce explained what it was, he was surprised, even in death now, this young man was saving another life. Steve wished he'd got a chance to meet Lucas, wish they all had, he sounded like a good kid and now he was gone. There weren't enough selfless people in the world these days, people who cared about right and wrong. He heard Tamara's voice and quickly folded the letter, it felt like eavesdropping to be caught with it and he didn't know if it was something she wanted to share with them.

Tamara kept to herself for several days, interacting with the team only to train and share meals. Everyone worried but Bruce convinced them to let her have the time she needed to grieve. On the day of Lucas's funeral, she finally approached Steve and asked if he would go with her. She didn't want everyone there but she knew he would understand how she felt. She didn't approach Julie or Maria, or even their other friends, she simply stayed back and watched. Toby and Ken saw her but she looked so broken they were afraid to approach. Only Toby knew that Lucas had loved Tamara and he wondered if she had somehow found out. He wanted to comfort her, to let her know she wasn't alone, but then he noticed the tall blond man standing silently nearby. He was confused at first, then when Tamara walked back to him, he thought the man was a bodyguard. He knew that Tamara's cousin worked for Tony Stark so it didn't surprise him to see that Tamara was protected. But when he saw the strange blond wrap his arms around Tamara, he understand, the man wasn't there as a bodyguard, but as a friend.

Several days later, he finally received a response to his many messages to Tamara. _Toby, I'm sorry I haven't been around but this has been too hard on me. Please understand that I need some time but you and the others will always be my friends. If any of you are ever in trouble, send me a message, I won't be around much but I'll always be here for all of you. Go ahead and tell Sasha that you love her, I didn't find out that Lucas loved me until it was too late. Tamara_

Tamara sent the message, then turned off her laptop. In a way it felt like she was abandoning her friends but right now it hurt too much to be around them, waiting for Lucas to walk up with his crooked smile. She knew that in time, that pain would ease, but for now, she needed to focus on training and being ready if the Avengers were needed.

A/N - At some point Tamara will fall in love, it's her destiny but she insisted she needed to focus on the team for now so Lucas had to go. I wanted to write it as just an unreciprocated crush but the story wouldn't let me.


End file.
